More Than a Mommy

High Intensity Pigment

2007-02-05T10:38:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, I went to church for the first time in at least three months. I don't think I've been more than one time since we moved back from the coast in October. I've had excuse after excuse, some very valid and some not so much, as to why I couldn't go. And ALL of these excuses had to do with my children. "Aiden has a cough, The girls are too little, The nursery doesn't fix the bottle right, Carsen cries when I leave, AIDEN cries when I leave..." The list goes on and on. So yesterday, I decided to get up and go to church because it was the Minister of Music's last Sunday and I wanted to see his work one last time. He is uber-talented and the choir in phenomenol and always a blessing. I also went to support my Daddy, a devoted choir member who is devestated (not his words because he's a man's man, but I know he is devestated), by the loss of the such a talented guy. So, that said, I got all dolled up for church-and because I've lost five pounds and my clothes are getting loose and one of my chins has gone away-I felt pretty good about myself. I put on my makeup extra-nice, and I used my new mascara, which is a color that I call SCARY BLACK. It's part of L'oreal's HIP (High Intensity Pigment) line, which is made especially for those with ethnic skin tones. Those of you who know me know that I am the whitest white girl ever...literally. I'm one step from Albino now that I've given up tanning. So naturally, I got the HIP mascara. I wanted my lashes to POP. Ha. Well, they did and I was impressed. So off I went to church, with Aiden and my HIP eyelashes in tow. (Anthony kept the girls at home because he didn't bring church pants this weekend. He wasn't planning on going since we never go lately. How sad is that?) Mom and I dropped Aiden off at Sunday School. He was geared up for it because we told him they would sing and learn about Jesus (He LOVES "Jejus"). Well, in true Aiden fashion, he teared up when we got there and he didn't know anyone. I looked at the teacher and said, "He'll be fine! But I did promise him that he'd be singing this morning so if you could throw in a 'Jesus Loves Me' even if it was unplanned, that'd be great!" He nodded and took my crying baby from me and we rushed off to church, which had already started. The first few minutes in church after leaving a crying child are pointless. You wonder if you should have just brought them with you or if they are still possibly crying, but after a few minutes, it usually wears off. Plus, they'd have paged me if he kept it up, right? So anyway, I finally settled down and began to worship. That's when it happened! Something came over me like I haven't felt in SO long. It was the spirit of the Lord speaking to me louder and clearer than I've ever heard. All of the sudden I knew why my life had been so chaotic and crazy (aside from my three children under two and my husband who I only see two days a week). It was because I was trying to handle it all without God. This has been my problem all of my life as a child of the King. I have SUCH a hard time giving up the reins and letting God lead me. I went through this right before I found out I got my job in Jackson. I had an epiphany then, too, and ended my stuborn streak by finaly telling God that I'd be fine if I had to stay where I was, and giving up the bitterness that was consuming my life and my joy. I remember telling God that I was sorry that I'd been trying to fit everything into my time instead of His. It was so humbling and SO not long ago. God blessed me then by showing me that he wanted me to have the desire of my heart (He loves me THAT much!!) and the very next day I got a call saying I had gotten the job in Jackson. How did I forget that lesson so soon? Well, God reminded me yesterday, in a split second, I tell you, that all I need to do to make things right is to just show up, come to Him and be willing. I could have shown up and not come to Him, or I could have shown up, come to Him and not have been willing, but I did all three...and I was SO blessed. I have decided that I will be an active participant in Crossgates Baptist Church, which is where my family attends. I want my children to know and to love Jesus. Aiden and I pray every night, which is so sweet and such a special time, but God told me yesterday that I can't do it on my own. I need Godly leaders to reinforce that lessons that I teach my children at home. It may not be Biblically based, but when I hear the old adage that it takes a village to raise a child, I automatically think of the many Godly men and women that were put in my path as a child who taught me about the love of Jesus. It is my desire to be a Godly mother and wife and I can't do that without the support of a church family. All of this was revealed to me yesterday. It was just amazing! And I tell you this, in true Mandye style, I blubbered. I could barely contain myself. I was moved by this being the last Sunday for the Minister of Music, I was moved by the lesson that God was teaching me and I was moved by the spirit of the people around me. It was clear that this was a loving place, and a place where I could belong and worship. I pray that when Anthony is permanantly here come April 13th, we will be able to join as a family and truly be home at Crossgates. In the mean time, I feel that God has called me to transform my blog from More than a Mommy to a blog about the trails and tribulations, the blessings and joy, of raising my three children in the way of the Lord. The name may change, because I really don't know yet what I want to call it. I want everyone to know that I need your prayer. This world is not friendly anymore, especially not for children. I need prayer to keep my children safe, keep them healthy and to help them grow in the Lord. I am already teaching Aiden how to pray, and I am so blessed by his simple prayers. Oh if we all would just humble ourselves like children when we prayed. It is so genuine and pure. And God places people on his heart already, at two years old. Sometimes he prays for family or his friends at school and sometimes it's a surprise like the time when he prayed for Mary Kellan Sartin when she was sick. He didn't know she was sick and needed prayer, but he followed what was layed on his heart and simply said her name. God moves through children, and he has already taught me lessons through mine.

Lord, I pray that this blog will be a place of encouragement and will at times serve as a beacon when there's a mom out there who is feeling lost like I was, and needs to find Your sweet light again. I pray that others will learn that finding You is as simple as showing up, coming to You, and being willing. I am willing, Father God. Please use me. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

After the service I found my sister and asked her if I had High Intensity Pigment all over my face. She laughed, hugged me (like good sisters do) and said no. Aparently the money you pay for that stuff keeps it in place. Praise God! That could have been a scary sight!!! Oh, and when I asked Aiden what he did in Sunday School, he said he sang"Jejus Woves Me!" and proceeded to sing it to me. Praise God for Godly teachers! My village is already pitching in!!! Love to all! -Mandye

EDITED TO ADD: I decided to just start a brand new blog called A Page Is Turned for my journal and to keep this one open to update on anything else I want to talk about. Check out A Page is Turned!

My Last Post for a long while

2006-11-06T10:24:00.000-05:00

Mary Kellan Sartin (Katie's little one) as the Chick-Fil A Cow
Camden and Carsen as 2 Peas in a Pod
Aiden as Dr. McCutie

I just can't keep up a million different sites anymore. I'm sorry! I'm not going to delete this one because I'd love to pick it back up when I have more time. It's just a little hectic right now, as you can imagine. I will continue to update the kids' site because it's pretty easy to keep up. And I'll check my myspace weekly. So, in honor of my last post...here's my cute kids at Halloween!

Reinstatement of the Food Diary

2006-09-26T10:25:00.000-04:00

Ok, some of you may remember pre-twins when I started my daring food diary. Well, it was actually working for me, so it's time to start again. YAY! I encourage others to join in and post your own food diary in the comments section if you would like to do so. Have fun!

Hello, My name is Mandye and I'm a Greysaholic

2006-09-22T14:07:00.000-04:00

Ok, so I have been OBSESSED with Grey's Anatomy this week! I've been reading everything Grey's that I can get my hands on. I even started reading Grey's fanfic, which sufficiently satisfied my desire until the premiere last night. So? Did everyone else watch it? Was it not fantastic? Actually, it wasn't up to par,if you ask me, but it was still great!

Things I didn't like:
-The whole plague thing...what was that about? I thought they had antibiotics for that now.
-Meredith's anticlimactic behavior when McD showed up at her house. Hello? He could have DIED! Callie did a much better job of acting elated that her man didn't die of the plague.
-Finn's reaction to Mer/Der. Grow some and act like you care if you want our girl, Finny Finn Finn. And SHAVE already! Chris O'D cannot pull off the scruffy look.
-What happened to Bailey's edge? I hope she finds it soon. From the looks of the promos, it won't be gone long.

Things I did like:
-Izzy. Perfectly appropriate grief. Katherine Heigle is the best thing on that show right now.
-Cristina crying at the end. Sandra Oh rocks!
-Georgie and McD's talk. Georgie rocks, too.
-Callie! I thought she was refreshing last night! And I'm glad George has someone who loves him.
-Addison washing and folding the underwear before putting it on the bulletin board! Enough said.

I have been an Izzy/Alex fan from the beginning. They're my couple to root for on the show. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE Mer/Der and their intense looks, but Alexie have got to get together. My fave moment ever on Grey's is when Izzie is laying in the bed with dead Dennie and everyone is trying to get her to leave and then out of nowhere you hear Alex talking. I felt such relief for her that he was there. And it showed a soft side of him. Can't wait to see them play out.

I'm indecisive about who I want Mer to pick. If she picks McD, it's gonna be a bad season because you KNOW that there will be turmoil. They'll probably make Addison preggo or something just to ruin it. I'd rather her choose Finn Finn and see where that goes for a while. Let Derrek be single. We've never seen single Derrek before. That could be interesting!

I also am a fan of George and Callie. We'll call them Gellie. I like Gellie together. She may just be his lobster! (for all you Friends fans!)And I can't wait to see what happens with the chief. We shall see!!!

Did anyone else catch the 'moment' between Alex and Addison last night? I hope it was just a glitch because I don't know if I could take an Alexon pairing. Plus, I'm holding out hopes that McSteamy comes back, just for my aesthetic pleasure.

Ok, so the real question you are all asking is, "Why did Mandye, mother of 3 BABIES, have time to watch Grey's Anatomy???" Well, as luck may have it, all of my babies were alseep or falling into sleep by then. YAY! Let's hope it's a trend.

Feel free to comment with your own take on GA.

Letters to My Children

2006-09-18T15:03:00.000-04:00

Dear Aiden,
I am so lucky to have you as my beautiful little boy. And your sisters are so lucky, too, because they look just like YOU!! I watch you sometimes and can't believe that your Daddy and I made something so gorgeous THREE times. You are such a funny little man and so full of life and energy. I like to sit back and watch you as you learn something new, and I feel like I share every new discovery with you. Yesterday you watched Bob the Builder for the first time and you picked up immediately on Bob's key phrase" Can we build it? YES WE CAN!" It's so cute to hear you say that! And as I hear you say it, I can't help but hope that you are able to truly pick up on that can-do attitude and carry it with you for the rest of your life. You already think that you can do it all, and I don't ever want to dampen that fiery spirit. You are such a Momma's boy right now, and I love every minute of it, hoping that it never ends…though they say that around 10 or so I'm going to drop off the radar. Who are they and what do they know? You love watching your educational 'DbeeD's' and I love letting you because you are a little sponge and you are soaking up so much good knowledge from them. 'Go Diego Go,' is your favorite right now, and everyday when we get into the car you ask to watch him. You also LOVE shoes, which is so funny to me because Mommy loves them, too. You now have 8 pair of Crocs and you hate to put on anything else but them. You still love to be outside, especially at Neener and Papaw's house and especially when Papaw lets your drive the tractor. You also love to play on the playground…any playground, especially the swings and the slides. I can't wait to get you a jungle gym for home. Maybe Santa will bring one. You still love to go and get a book and bring it for Daddy to read to you. He is your favorite book-buddy. Right now you like the look and find books and Winnie the Pooh is your favorite subject. You also like to point out all the colors, all the body parts, and you can count to ten! You are SO smart! You love your little sisters, and I am so glad that you do. You get down in front of them and say, "Hey, Babies!" You also like help Mommy hold their bottles. You are a good helper and you're very good at cleaning up your mess, especially when you get out your flashcards. You always pick them back up and give them to Mommy and Daddy, just like a good boy. And you are good boy, Aiden, with such a joyful countenance. Sometimes people stop when we're out just to look at you, especially if you are laughing. You LOVE to laugh. And your laugh is simply contagious! It has to be the best sound in the world. You think it's funny when people fall or when they are hit in the head, which is a little bizarre because Mommy thinks that's funny, too! You also give really good 'sugar' (kisses) and hugs, which always brighten any day. You are a blessing, my funny, little man, and I thank God for your sweet spirit and your loving nature. You are my heart.
Love,
Your Mommy

Dear Camden,
You are such a beautiful girl! I love to watch you as you sit back and take in all that's going on. Sometimes when you're sitting there, looking at me with those big blue eyes, I expect you to talk to me, "Hello, Mommy. How are you today?" I can tell that you will be a deep thinker like your Mommy. I'm sure you'll have lots of deep thoughts to share with us soon because I can just see the knowledge brewing behind your eyes. You love it when anyone sings to you, especially your Mommy and your Papaw James. We have high hopes that this means you'll sing lead in the Flowers Family Trio when you’re a big girl, although you may have to fight your sister to be able to stand center stage. Though your sister likes to be held a lot during the day, you are my nighttime snuggle buddy. You just seem to sleep a little more sound when Mommy is around. You really like Baby Einstein, just like your Bubba. You will sit in your bouncy and watch the pretty colors and music until you drift off to sleep, while your sister is jumping like mad in her Jumperoo. You don't really act interested in jumping just yet, but you watch her like you're trying to figure it all out. I'm sure that one day soon I'll put you in it and you'll jump like you've been doing it all your life. I'm also sure that as time goes on you will continue to be my easy-going little angel. You will be the one to keep me grounded and remind me of the importance of watching others and learning from their mistakes before trying it on your own. I love you, sweet CamCam, and I am so glad that God chose me to bless with you. You are my heart.
Love,
Your Mommy

Dear Carsen,
Just like your big sister, you also are SO beautiful! But unlike Camden, you are definitely more of a mover and shaker. While your sister sits and takes it all in, you want to be the center of attention, which, as a former beauty queen, I think is great. I love to put you in your Bumbo seat while we are eating dinner because you love to feel like you're a part of things. You just sit there and watch us eat, smiling like you taste it, too. I can't wait until you really can taste it. That will be so much fun! And boy do you love to jump! I put you in your Jumperoo and you are in heaven. While you haven't mastered the art of graceful jumping yet, you have a blast flailing around and giving it your best shot. You just LOVE it! You smiled so much last night while you were jumping that I thought your little face would be sore. You're not so much into Baby Einstein just yet, though you will watch it for a little while. I'm hoping you grow to like it just like your brother and sister because there is so much you can learn from just being still and watching. And Carsen, though you may be smaller than your sister, know that size that does not matter. What you lack in size, you definitely make up in personality. You are a spit-fire with a temper to match any I've seen. You turn bright red and scream to the top of your lungs when you're angry because Mommy is too slow fixing your bottle. I call you my little Carsen-Rouge because you turn so red! You are a very social baby and already love to smile and coo at strangers. When we took you to the family reunion this weekend, you loved 'talking' to everyone. I truly have no doubt that you will continue to take center stage and that you will always let me know when you need something, even if it's just to be held and loved, which I will always be here to do. I love you, sweet Carsen, and I can't wait to get to know you more and more. You are my heart.
Love,
Your Mommy

House Plan Drama

2006-09-15T09:45:00.000-04:00

NEWS FOR THE DAY: We're moving HOME!!! See more about that on the kids' site. My last day at work here is September 29th. AH! So we are going to sell our house, buy some land and build...living with my parents in the interim period. It's going to be a blast. A blast of what I'm not sure. J/K We are hoping to have the house built before we wear out our welcome, even though my incredible parents assure us that they don't mind. So I start my new job at the Jackson VA on October 16, if all goes well. Now our new drama is over houseplans and what to build.

Here's the rundown: We need to stay between 2000 and 2500 square feet. We need four bedrooms (one for each child because the twins will eventually want their own space) an office and a playroom. Of course I want walk in closets and an island in the kitchen. We are building this house on a lot that will be between 2.8 and 4.8 acres, so it needs to be sprawling and not narrow. This criteria is not exactly easy to come by. We've found a few that I'll share with you:

1. This one is ok. We would brick this and do something more modern and stylish with the outside.I have some ideas. Now I had my doubts about putting the kids upstairs, so this is still a maybe. I would use one of the bedrooms as an office and the playroom would be the gameroom until the twins want their own room. Then it will all switch. I love that their are two bathrooms so that Aiden doesn't have to suffer with the twins hogging the bathroom. I also like the downstairs, but would like a bigger kitchen to fit an island. What do you think?

2. I have lots of ideas for this one. The bonus room is actually large enough to have it as a bedroom /playroom for the girls. I like the idea of putting window seats with separate hope chests in each window so that the girls can keep their keepsakes in them. The kitchen has an island, which is great. There aren't walk in closets in all the bedrooms, but I might be able to fix that. I know I can put a couple of them in the bonus room.

3. This is basically what we have now, but bigger and with a huge bonus room. We could change up the front to make it cuter. I love my house now, so I wouldn't mind a different version. I do wish it had walk-in closets, but I might can work with an architect on that. I want all the bedrooms a little bigger on any house, so I might tweak that, too.

Ok, Let me hear what you think!!!

I may start posting permanantly on the kids' site and on my MySpace. I can only do so much now. I'll let you know soon!

Finally Back Home

2006-07-06T15:36:00.000-04:00

Well, we're back on the coast and back in our home! Actually, I went back to work yesterday, so we are now working on getting a routine in place. Aiden is really cute with the girls. He tries to comfort them when they cry by showing them things. He'll say, 'What's That? (he points to the fish mobile on the swing) Fish. What's that? (points to star on the swing's light) Star.) He has tried a few times to pick them up, which is scary, but pretty cute. We're always close at hand to there's no worry that he'd actually do it. A few times he's tried to pick one of them up and they've gotten startled and cried out. Well then he got embarrassed because she cried and put his little head down. Next thing we knew he bopped her on the head. It wasn't hard, but it was hard enough to warrant us getting onto him so that he doesn't ever try to hit her hard. Monday we went for a ride and took all three kids. Aiden fell instantly asleep and the girls pretty much cried off and on the whole time. By the time we got home, Aiden was awake. When we got into the driveway, Aiden looked over at Carsen and Camden, who were reaching a hysterical lever with their screaming, and yelled, "Stop!" We thought it was pretty funny! This was much more polite than our little 2 year old cousin, Katie Banks, who in no certain terms told baby Carsen to "Shu'up Carsen!" when Carsen was crying over getting her diaper changed. It was too cute! This is the same child who, when asked what she wanted to eat while she was dining out the other day, replied " Sh@t!, " (or something close enough to sound like it!) much to the embarrassment of her aunts and mom. The waiter didn't catch it, thank goodness. They are SPONGES. Never forget that!

I have taken new pictures of the girls, but I haven't posted them from the camera yet. Maybe tonight. Depends on how the night goes.

More later!

Adjusting...

2006-06-11T20:32:00.000-04:00

Wow, life is crazy these days, and I mean in every sense of the word! Most of you know by now that I had an emergency C-section on May 26th after my blood pressure went up and I have protein in my urine. I was supposed to be brought in for a section on the 31st, so this was just a little early. The girls arrived that afternoon and my life was altered beyond recognition. We are thrilled and overwhelmed, along with emotional and sleep deprived. Ok, those last two are mainly me, but I'll get to that later. I am now staying in Jackson with mom and my sister. Dad and Anthony are on the coast all week working and we stay here and 'tend to the youngins.' Unfortunately, I haven't heard back from any of my job interviews so I'll be returning to work at the VA in Biloxi on July 5th. I know, it's soon, but I don't have another choice. I've used up all my allotted leave and it's now or never time. I need my job, so mom and Cindy (Ant's mom) will be keeping the girls until Daycare works itself out. We're waiting for our spots to come open. Anyway, the girls and Aiden are wonderful. Anthony is great, too. I am getting there. I have always been fairly candid about my bout with post partum depression when I had Aiden. Well, imagine it times two. I have had a hard time, to say the least. But I'm on an upward slope now thanks to modern medicine (eat that Tom Cruise) and thanks in part to the medication that i had to be on for my blood pressure which made me loose 45 pounds in one week. Yes, it was mostly water. But still, 45 punds none the less. Ok, babies are screaming. I will post more later.

Love,
Mandye

MORE TO COME!

2006-06-01T23:34:00.000-04:00

Camden Noelle and Carsen Makenna
Born May 26, 2006
C-section
Camden- 2:00pm 5lbs 11oz 18 1/2 inches long
Carsen- 2:01pm 5lbs 1 oz 18 3/4 inches long

NEWS

2006-05-08T17:50:00.000-04:00

I will be updating the kids' sites (Aiden and The Twins) for a while instead of blogging daily. I know you've been wondering where I am, and I do hope to be back soon...but as of now, my fingers are too swollen to update daily. Heck, too swollen to update weekly. So, check out those sites (the twins has the most recent update) for any news. My love goes out to blogland! I miss you and hope to be back soon!!!!

PRAYER REQUEST

2006-03-13T16:10:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow I have a phone interview at 11am with the VA in Jackson. Please pray that it goes well. I want God's will, but we really want to move home with all these babies coming. Please remember me tomorrow. Thanks!

New Aiden Pics

2006-03-12T12:35:00.000-05:00

Here's some pictures I took yesterday of Aiden. I am amazed at how beautiful he is. I made part of that, you know what I mean. If you don't, you will when you have kids. I hope you enjoy them half as much as I do-M

2006-03-10T13:23:00.000-05:00

H&J-We love you both so much and you're in our thoughts and prayers constantly. I pray for you both now, standing on the promise that God will never give you anything you cannot handle and that he will give you comfort during this time. We miss you and hope to see you soon!

Finally...An Update

2006-03-08T16:00:00.000-05:00

Where do I start with my update... Wednesday the 15th of February I had already planned to take the day off in order to take Aiden to the ENT and to get an Ultrasound. Mom came down from Jackson and we were off early that day. We ate lunch and then I got my U/S (at which time I began to notice some pain and discomfort in the lower right side of my stomach). The sonographer gracioulsy checked out my kidneys for any stones (which I later learned she shouldn't have done) and told me that everything looked normal. The girls looked fine, too, which was a relief. After that, we went straight to the ENT to let them check out Aiden. By this time, the pain was worse, and noticable to me at all times, especially when I walked. We got the news that Aiden would need tubes in his ears and his tounge clipped (he inheritted a 'tied' tongue from my side of the family. I had mine clipped when I was 15. The surgery is simple, and called a lingual frenotomy). We scheduled this for the Monday before Mardi Gras...February 27. Little did I know, I'd miss that important date because I would have just gotten out of the hospital myself.

By the time Anthony got home at 5:15, I was in a lot of pain. This broke my heart because we were supposed to go to eat Tai food (my FAVE) in Slidell that night. Not to mention, Anthony had his last big Jeep trip scheduled for the next day. He had been preparing for that trip for MONTHS. Well, I took my temp and it was over 101.7 so I called the doctor on call and she said I should report to Labor and Delivery and 'be prepared to spend the night." I went into the hospital with 103 fever and excruciating right side pain. After lots of tests, they tell me its the flu and keep me until the fever breaks and the pain resolves on Saturday. At this point I thought it was over. Boy was I wrong. I woke up Sunday at 3am with a headache like nothing I've ever felt before in my life. I took 2 tylenol thinking it must be a migrain, which I've never had before, but my fever came back at 102. Not good. By 10am we called the OB on call and it was back to the hospital. My headaches turned out to be incapacitating. It was awful. The OB on call called in some specialists, a neurologist and infectcious disease doctor, who ordered a lumbar puncture and a CT scan. I diagnosed me with meningitis, possibly bacterial but more than likely, viral. From Sunday until Wednesday we struggled with high fever, nausea, delerium, lethargy, and allover pain from the swollen condition of my spine. I've never seen doctors, not to mention my poor Anthony, so worried. They kept assuring me that the girls were fine, but I was still worried about them. Wednesday they told me I'd taken my max amount of acetaminophen and that they were going to have to put me on a cooling blanket. It was hell. I'm sorry, but there's no other word I can think of to describe it. I was already shivering with chills from 103.3 fever, when they inserted a probe into my rear to keep up with the temp and put me on a the blanket, which was set to 50 degrees. Then I started contracting and they gave me turbutaline, which had me literally jumping out of my skin. I was wishing that I'd pass out, anything to go to another place. My OB showed up this day(it was her day on call) and basically threw up her hands. She said we were going to transfer me to Jackson (three hours away) where my perinatologist (maternal and fetal medicine specialist) would take over my care and would do a bettter job than what could be offered in Gulfport. Well, my fever and the fact that I started contracting caused me to be critical enough to warrant an airlift to Jackson. This ordeal, which should have taken 45 mintues, took 3 1/2 + hours. Anthony, Dad, and Anthony's Dad and stepmom beat us there in their car and we were FLYING. LONG STORY. The real story was all the prayer going on behind the scenes at this time. I can't tell you how many people were praying for us at their respective churches that night. Our home church stopped and held a special prayer. When I left Guflport my fever was 103.3. When I finally made it to Jackson 3.5 hours later, my fever was gone. When I left Gulfport, I truly thought I was going to die, and I was just glad that I would be home with family in Jackson when it happened. Anthony and I had talked during a time when I wasn't delirious and he knew to tell them to keep me alive for the girls. The doctors seemed baffled in Gulfport. I really think I would have died if I'd stayed there. But God had other plans for me, and as soon as we got to Jackson everything began looking up. The doctor met us at the room and was SO great. He had his personal infectious disease doctor there, too. He told me that from the looks of my tests, I had a rare from of meningitis(that is actually encephalitis...menigoencephalitis to be exact) that is indeed viral, and it also biphasic. The first half was lymphatic and caused my discomfort in the area surrounding my colon, along with the high fever, the week before. The 2nd half started Sunday, and basically kicked my butt because I was already worn down from the first half. He agreed that I was definitely turning a corner in this illness and was hopeful that I'd feel even better the next day. He was right. I felt SO much better that they stopped the antibiotics (I didn't need then if it was viral) and took out my catheter (YAY)! Friday they took out my IV-I had no other veins left and the doc felt it was torture to start a line in my neck considering how much better I was getting. By Saturday, I was ready to go home. What an ordeal!

I can't tell you how much Anthony and I cried these past two weeks. Frustration, Fear, Love. I am exhausted. But I am blessed. Anthony took such wonderful care of me. I joked with him that he was my favorite nurse. Talk about love. Love isn't a big enough word for what I feel for him. I just thought I loved him before. This whole ordeal has made me look at everything and everybody in a different light. I thank God that he pulled me through this illness. I pray that I don't see a hospital again until the girls are ready to make an appearance. I know that was a quick run down of a really bad experience, but I wanted you guys to know what was going on. I still have residual headaches, which I would imagine are a lot like regular migraines. I stayed at my mother's in Jackson recovering until Sunday of this past week. Aiden was home with Anthony's mom in Gulfport until his surgery and then came up that Tuesday the 28th when his Papaw and Mimi met Anthony in Hattiesburg with him. He has already recovered from his surgery. Anthony had gone down to be with Aiden and then stayed the rest of the week to work while I recouped at Mom's. I was heartbroken that I couldn't be there for Aiden's surgery, but at least his Daddy was able to be at his side. I missed him SO much. That was the longest I'd ever gone without seeing him and it really had me down. Seeing him on Tuesday was truly the best medicine I could have been given! I am now back at work...I've mostly gone in half days this week, and other than the headaches, I'm feeling fine. I still get really tired really quickly, but that's probably to be expected. I'm just glad to be alive.

Ok, speaking of headaches, all this typing has caused a little flair up. I'll try and check in soon.

Thanks for all your prayers and support! I love you!

Happy Valentine's Day!

2006-02-14T11:35:00.000-05:00

Happy Valentine's Day
Hope you find the time to snuggle up to the ones you love. I will be snuggling with my boys (Anthony and Aiden) tonight!
YAY!

CONGRATS LINDSEY AND WES!

2006-02-14T11:30:00.000-05:00

I can't believe that I haven't already posted this, but congrats to Lindsey and Wes Gillette on the birth of their daughter, Ali Jean Gillette on February 8, 2006. She's beautiful and they are already well on their way to being world class parents! YAY!

Cool "Grey's Anatomy" Site

2006-02-12T15:06:00.000-05:00

For those who are addicted to Grey's Anatomy and fiend for it every day until Sunday like Anthony and I do...here's a site where the creator and writers blog in about the show. No spoilers, just fun and interesting info on how and why they decide to write the show the way they do. No, I haven't read the whole thing and I don't know why they chose to bring that Addison on board to ruin Meredith and McDreamy's good time, but according to a recent blog from creator Shonda Rhimes, she will be posting more on her reasoning behind some of our favorite characters soon!
So let the countdown to tonight's episode begin. And for those who are not watching Grey's...you don't know what you're missing. I truly think it's one of the smartest non-CSI/Law&Order type shows on TV right now-if not the smartest. (Lost is running a close 2nd, only because it's almost TOO smart for me to keep up with). Anywho. Check it out tonight if you've never watched. I promise you won't be disapointed. (See above pic of Dr. Derek "McDreamy" Shepherd" for a reference) It's on at 10/9 CST on ABC.

Tip on What to Get Anthony for Christmas Next Year

2006-02-12T13:58:00.000-05:00

:-)

I know. I know. It's a little crude, but it gave me a chuckle. Thanks to my new pal, Kim, for posting this and brightening my day. Check out her site and see her cute kids.

I Feel I Have Matured Today

2006-02-11T19:37:00.000-05:00

Today I said good-bye to two of the best friends I've ever had. I know, if you're not a cat person you just won't get this. But if you are a cat person, you will relate when I tell you that I spent many a night, mostly in college, being comforted by one or both of these two precious creatures. Only a cat can look into your eyes and answer all the problems of your little world. A simple little purr can help ease any hurt.

I've always lived by the theory that cats are special souls that come to you when you need them. Moby and Maya served their purpose in my life, and now they have moved on to a new home where they can get more attention and love than we are able to provide right now. Their new owner is very nice and is looking forward to getting to know them better. They left today at 2:30. It was hard, and I cried a lot, but I think it's for the best. Besides, they've been so bored around here for the past few months. And once the girls arrive, they were going to get even less attention. But I must admit, there's a part of me that feels I just gave away my first two children. I'm sure that feeling will fade...That feeling and the urge to check and recheck a room
before shutting the door to make sure they're not trapped in.

So I guess I have matured, because even a year ago I would have balked at the idea of finding them a new home.

I'll miss you two! This purrs for you...

19 weeks

2006-01-29T13:47:00.000-05:00

Well, here I am at 19 weeks. I know-HUGE already. But at least I'm not swelling this time. These were taken last night. Since I'm technically on bedrest, I didn't 'fix up' for the pictures. I'll try and throw some makeup on for the next ones, and I'll run a comb through my hair-Promise.

My little man got home yesterday! He is SO sweet. I missed him more than I realized. He's good for the soul. Kids are so incredible that way.

I'll try and post more later this week. Mom will be here until tomorrow. I have a doctor's appointment in the morning so I'll post an update when I hear something new.

Guess who's coming home today???

2006-01-27T12:36:00.000-05:00

My little Tonka lovin', block totin', chair rockin', heart stopping hunk of love! YEAH! I've missed him. He's been in Jackson since Sunday. Doubt he's missed me much because he loves his Neener and Pop Pop, but we sure did miss him. I can't wait to see him. They should be here by 2:00.

The countdown is on!!!

SCARE

2006-01-26T14:47:00.000-05:00

Well, we went Saturday and had the U/S that confirmed we are indeed having 2 girls! Carsen and Camden it is. By Saturday night I was pretty sick with my lower back hurting. I called my doc and she called in an antibiotic and pain medication. I slept Sunday and most of Monday. When Anthony got home from work Monday night I realized I was having contractions so we went to the hospital. It was scary. They weren't painful contractions, but they were 3 minutes apart, which was bad. They immediately started an IV and gave me Terbutaline to stop the contractions. It looks like all that sleeping and no drinking left me dehydrated. Not to mention, still hurting with my back. My doc sent me home on bedrest until February 8th, and we had our big U/S early yesterday where they also looked at my kidneys. I'm still waiting on the results from that. The girls are fine and mom has Aiden in Jackson. I'm just resting patiently until the 8th.

I'm gonna go lay back down now. I'll try and post updates periodically.

-Mandye

Let it Be Known...

2006-01-11T11:59:00.000-05:00

My children will be named:

Carsen Makenna and Camden Noelle

Unless it turns out to be a girl and a boy and then they'll be:

Mason Ryburn and Makenna Noelle

The World's Most Beautiful Child is Coming

2006-01-11T11:54:00.000-05:00

Brad and Angelina confirm pregnancy. She's due this summer. I'm guessing she's around 5 months or so from the size of her belly in the pic. I mean I'm that big at least at 17 weeks with twins, so she's gotta be further along than me.

Can you imagine what this kid will look like? It will have to be georgeous! I am presonally ok with this pairing. I think they're both georgeous and they're both strange....they're meant for each other. Thoughts?

Makenna

2006-01-10T11:26:00.000-05:00

What do you think? It will probably be a middle name for one of them, but we like it. I've found two meanings for it: 'Daugther of the wise one' (won't Anthony get the big head over that one...oh, wait. That could mean me, too. hmmm) and 'Happiness'

I'm leaning towards Carsen Makenna and Camden Noelle.

I know, they don't start with an 'A, ' but I wasn't getting much response from Anthony over any of my 'A' names and he really likes these. I'm open to any suggestions of M names that same style as Makenna, so bring em on!

Need Opinions

2006-01-05T11:02:00.000-05:00

Ok, so unfortunately there are not many girly twin strollers. I have found two that I like. Here's what they look like:

This one is the Graco Duoglider G-Collection. It has neat colors, but it has G's all over it. ?? I'll have to see it in person before I judge any further.

This one is the Graco Duoglider in the Central Park pattern. It is black and white toille. I like it and I think it's a little more my style. And Anthony wouldn't feel bad wheeling it around.

What do ya'll think? And feel free to submit your own suggestions. My only stipulation is that it's a front to back and not side to side model. It's easier to get down aisles at Walmart!

SORRY! I've been a little preoccupied

2006-01-03T12:18:00.001-05:00

What with the twins on the way and Aiden's first birthday, not to mention Christmas and New Year's. WOW! What a month!

News Flash: Now don't get too excited because I need to wait until my 20 week big U/S to confirm, but it appears as of yesterday's sonogram that we may have 2 girls on the way!!! There were no visible peni on the ultrasound! YEAH! One was obviously a girl to all of us, but one could be a little questionable. But I'm pumped!

So, bring on the girl names! We are looking for 'A' names. I like Audrey, Aubry, Addler and Abigail (Abby). Middle Names we're going to most likely use: Ryburn and Noelle. Ryburn is Anthony's and Anthony's Dad's middle name. I know a few girls-mostly southern- with this middle name so I'm up for it. It would really be special to name her after he Daddy. Noelle is after my sister, Ashley Noelle. Unless she makes me mad before they get here and then I'll name her after me!! (Just kidding, A!) We're open to all suggestions except Anna(my cousin's name) and Amelia (like Bedelia-NO!)

Gotta go feed these babies! I'm starved!

LOVE TO ALL!

-Mandye

What a shock...

2005-12-12T22:08:00.000-05:00

Ok,for the record, my computer has been down and I haven't been able to post at work in two weeks! This post has been saved on my compter since the Tuesday after Thanksgiving. So here goes...

From 11-29-05
Well, last weekend we went to Starville for the MS State and Ole Miss game. Being a State fan, I was thrilled at the outcome. What a great game! Although, I was shocked that we won. I mean who would have thought we'd pull it out. Yep, what a shock.

You know, think of all the little trivial times we say, 'I was shocked,' or 'it totally shocked me.' It really should be reserved for a genuine shock. You, like me, probably have never had a genuine shock. I'm sure I thought I had. But now I know that I have not ever had a true shock. MS State winning-not a true shock.

Let me start at the beginning so you'll fully understand. Saturday night, after the ballgame and the comotion that went with it was gone, I noticed that I was bleeding a bit. Red blood. A NO NO when pregnant. Luckily, I had my handy dandy personal OB nurse with me (Thanks, Katie!) and she told me to lay down and drink water- Call my OB and see her on Monday unless it gets worse. I was thinking the worst. I thought I was having a miscarriage. It was awful. All weekend until Monday I was mopey and sad. Aiden and Anthony couldn't even cheer me up. I was prepared for bad news. The bleeding stopped Sunday morning, which made me feel a little better, but I was still concerned.

Monday morning I called my OB and she said to come on in at 1pm when she got off of being on-call for deliveries from that morning. Anthony and I took off work and spent the day shopping for Santa gifts to take my mind off things. FINALLY 1pm rolled around and after a short wait, they called me back. My doc checked my cervix and it was still closed and looked fine. She next opted for an Ultra Sound to make sure that the baby was ok.

She put the jelly on my stomach and began to roll the wand around on my belly. There was our little baby, perfect and with a visible heartbeat. But then, it apeared at though it jumped to he other side of the screen. Little acrobat, I thought. Then I heard my doctor's breath suck in. "Did you see that?" She said," There's two of them in there!" Everything after that point it a blurr. My arms tingled, my toes went numb, my mouth went dry, and I kept saying that I must be dreaming. It was very surreal. Two amniotic sacs and two placentas. Two wiggley babies! Probably fraternal, but could still be identical if the egg split early enough. WOW.
Never did find the source of the bleed. My doctor says that sometimes blood vessels pop and it causes a little bleeding. Who knows. I personally think that all things happen for a reason, because I now know that if I hadn't bled, I wouldn't have gotten another sonogram and I wouldn't have found out about the twins until my 20 week ultrasound. What a shock that would have been!

Now, the reality is still sinking in. What in the world! So, yes, I'll be having three under two come June. My nect appointment is December 27th and we'll listen to heartbeats and hopefully have another sonogram.

WOW. And no, twins do not run in my family, but they do in Anthony's (For the record, I have since learned that it does not matter that twins run in Anthony's family-more on that later in another post! WOW. ) WOW.

Ok...So here's the update.

2005-11-07T19:22:00.000-05:00

Ok, so here's the deal. We're going to be having another baby in June. There. I said it. I think I have been living in a little bit of denial, but the morning sickness is telling me oh how real it is. So just because I'm feeling too lousy to answer the same questions over and over (yes, I know how that must sound)I'm going to give you guys the answer to most of the ones I've been getting.

Yes-I will be having an ultra sound on 11/16 and
No-It's too early to know what we're having, but we'll find out as soon as we can(probably at the 20 wk ultraound which will not be until February)
Yes-I'd love for it to be a girl, but I do love my boy so I'd be equally as happy with another one. No-I don't know how many we'll be having, but hopefully 2 :-)
Yes-I am perpetually sick, already on zofran, and barely able to stomach anything
No-We didn't plan them this close, but we're excited now. They will be 18 months apart.
I am almost 8 weeks (tomorrow) but the ultrasound next week will confirm that.

Ok, so hopefully I will be feeling better soon and we will be making the standard-'Hey, we did it again!' phone calls to those of you who haven't already gotten one.

So...update: DONE

More to report later. Now...need rest and Zofran.

What do you think of my blog design?

2005-11-01T12:37:00.000-05:00

I mean really...it's cute, but hard to read, huh? I need to find a design that's cute and easy to read. I'll be working on it soon, when I have time. Sorry I haven't posted a lot lately. There's so much to tell. I'll try and update by the end of the week.

This morning I was starving on the way to work so I zoomed in Burger King for a chicken biscuit. I waited in line for 30 minutes (yes, i was that hungry!) WELL-two bites into it and halfway to the gates of the VA, I realize the chicken is warm, but raw!!! I did a little U-ey and zipped right back over to B King to give them back my raw chicken biscuit, along with a piece of my mind. They were super nice about it-as they well should have been-and gave me another, which I promptly inhaled. I told them they should thank me for alerting them that their timing was off on the cooking of the chicken. I also told them that they better hope no one gets somenella (I'm sure I butchered that spelling! ) poisoning from this. I had it in high school and it was the pits.

Anyway, now that I'm officially grossed out for the morning, I'll get back to work. I'll post with pics of Aiden from last night on his web page (see it under links) later tonight.

Happy fall, Ya'll!

Two Great Songs/Two Great Cities

2005-10-30T11:33:00.000-05:00

Walking in Memphis-Marc Cohn (About Memphis...duh)

Put on my blue suede shoesAnd I boarded the plane
Touched down in the land of the Delta Blues
In the middle of the pouring rain
W.C. Handy -- won`t you look down over me
Yeah I got a first class ticket
But I`m as blue as a boy can be

Then I`m walking in Memphis
Walking with my feet ten feet off of Beale
Walking in Memphis
But do I really feel the way I feel

Saw the ghost of ElvisOn Union Avenue
Followed him up to the gates of Graceland
Then I watched him walk right through
Now security they did not see him
They just hovered `round his tomb
But there`s a pretty little thing
Waiting for the King
Down in the Jungle Room

They`ve got catfish on the table
They`ve got gospel in the air
And Reverend Green be glad to see you
When you haven`t got a prayer
But boy you`ve got a prayer in Memphis

Now Muriel plays piano
Every Friday at the Hollywood
And they brought me down to see her
And they asked me if I would --
Do a little number
And I sang with all my might
And she said --"Tell me are you a Christian child?"
And I said "Ma`am I am tonight"

Put on my blue suede shoes
And I boarded the plane
Touched down in the land of the Delta Blues
In the middle of the pouring rain
Touched down in the land of the Delta Blues
In the middle of the pouring rain

Home-Marc Brussard, Album Carenco (About New Orleans)

Rolling down the road
Going no where
Guitar packed in the trunk
Somewhere round mile marker 112
Papa started hummin' the funk
I gotta jones in my bones, before we know
We were singing this melody
Stop the car pulled out the guitar
Halfway to New Orleans
Said take me home
Take me home

Could feel the sun about to rise
When I realized we had nothing to fear
It's just me and my daddy and a kid named Cope
Making music that nobody would hear
And then the sun let up and it split the night
As we went on with our jubilee
10,000 cars on the side of the road
Grooving as far as the eye could see

Said take me home
Take me home
Said take me home
Said take me home

This Greyhound is Delta bound mama
Baby boy done finally found his way home

Here we go...Hot damn you should have felt the groove
Like I was swimming in a sea of soul
The sun was rising and the day was hot
And we was all about to lose control
My daddy turned his face up towards the sky
And I knew that there was nothing to lose
I felt the crowd breathe in and I closed my eyes
And we disappeared into the groove

Said take me home
Said take me home
Take me home
Said take me home

Straight from the water
Straight from the water children
Straight from the water
Straight from the water children
Straight from the water
You don't know nothing about this

Take me home

Said take me home

I love these songs. Just wanted to share! You've probably heard Walking in Memphis, but Home is new and definitely worth the listen. For those who saw Skeleton Key, my sister says it was in this movie.

My Little Punkin

2005-10-07T09:05:00.000-04:00

(Note my new hair)

He just wasn't too sure about this, but he sure was cute.

Just had to share this with the class. A mom's gotta brag sometimes, ya know.

What's in a Name....

2005-10-04T15:53:00.000-04:00

Ok, so this weekend I realized that a good friend of mine who is pregnant is planning on naming her child Noah if it's a boy. Because I'm a wuss, and because she's the pregnant one, I didn't have the heart to tell her that we've had Noah Ryburn picked out for our second boy since we started dating in 1998. I've always said that it's the pregnant one's privledge when it comes to names, so I'm back to the drawing board with mine. I'm looking for a name that will go good with Ryburn, which is Anthony's middle name. I've thought about Owen, Cooper, Carter, Mason (ONLY if it's ok with Amanda and if Connor's mn isn't Mason), and Sawyer. None of those are as cute with Ryburn as Noah, but I'm sure the right name is out there somewhere. God never closes a door without opening a window, so I'm waiting for my perfect name to come floating in anytime now. Especially since we're close to trying for #2. I want to be prepared! Any suggestions will be appreciated.

Here's to me having a girl so I don't have to worry about this!!!

Cheers!
Mandye

I DARE YOU!

2005-10-03T14:34:00.000-04:00

Ok, so some of you may have noticed that I have started a new blog (http://daringfooddiary.blogspot.com) that is basically me writing down everything that I eat each day. I have to tell you, in the short time that I've been keeping this food journal I have learned SOOOO much about my eating habits. It has been so eye opening to me, that I have decided to share this blog with the public and I'm to challenging everyone else to join me and start your own food blog. I'm going to post pictures and stats each week so that you, the public, will see if this diary is making a difference. I can already tell you that for the first time in my life, I am thinking before I put something in my mouth. I automaticall remember that I have to write it down, which means publically admitting that I am eating JUNK! It's quite empowering. Now you pregnant girls, enjoy your endless eating now. It will soon be over and then you'll be asking yourself, 'where'd the time go?' and you'll wish you'd have watched what you ate a little closer. I'm encouraging you to do this, too! Let's see if we can change the way we take care of ourselves, ladies. Come on! I dare you!!!

My New Decorative Theme for Our Front Bedroom

2005-09-26T22:21:00.000-04:00

I like to call it...'Katrina Smiling Down'

After the rain on Thursday, we got a big surprise!

It was like snow on Christmas...but itchy.

Seriously...what a pain in our butt. After the rain, we realized the tarp on our roof wasn't holding so well. I went in that morning and the ceiling was a little saggy in the front bedroom. I called Anthony on the way to Daycare and told him. By the time he got back home and went up in the attic to check on it, it easily fell through. Now we can't fix it until the insurance adjuster comes by to assess the damage so they'll know how much money to give us. Well, it's been a month and we haven't seen hide nor hair of him yet, so haven't got high hopes of him coming by anytime soon. This is the kind of stuff they don't tell you on TV. There are SO MANY people who lost EVERYTHING, that those of us with just minor (yes, this is technically minor) damage have to wait our turn. Some houses that could have been saved are literally molding away because the owner is having to wait on an adjuster to come out. They will have to be bull dozered- so sad! Not to mention, if you want money from FEMA you have to wait for them to come check out your damage, too! In our case, it could be months before we can actually repair our fence, roof, and now our ceiling. We did 'temporarily' secure the roof (that's legal...they actually gave us money to do that) so that this doesn't get any worse...hopefully. I just hope it doesn't start to mold.

Yuck.

Love,

Mandye

Cute Confession

2005-09-21T14:41:00.000-04:00

Ok, I’m just going to admit it. I can’t remember what it was like to not worry about being cute. I’m sure there was a time that “cuteness” just came natural…or else I just didn’t worry about it. But the older I get the more I am consumed by simply staying above the water and not drowning in a sea a frumpiness. Being as I’m only 25, I should probably invest in a life preserver soon.

So, who worries about these things besides me? Well, I’d like to think that it’s something that every woman struggles with, but doesn’t like to talk about during weekly social hour. Sometimes I’m tempted to bring it up in front of my girlfriends when we get together. “Hey guys, I was really trying hard to be cute tonight! You know... so that people will remember me when I leave the room,” but then I think, 'absolutely not!' They will surely not only affirm to me that I am crazy, but also will think that I am the most vain person in the world. Then they will hate me and, worse that that, may never compliment me again on any aspect of my life. I simply could not stand it!

Actually, all imaginative drama aside, I’d like to think that if I said something to that effect they’d agree with me and say that they were thinking the same thing when they tried on 3 different pairs of jeans and 5 different shirts with each pair before going back to the first one because it’s “comfortable, yet, flattering.” I think most women would be lying through their teeth if they said that they were not the least bit concerned about what others think of them.

So, why do women care? Is it self-esteem? Is it low self worth? Maybe. I’d like to think that I care that people, other than my dear husband, tell me that I look nice because I feel I am worthy of getting all decked out and making a lasting impression. I look nice because I enjoy hearing someone compliment me on something I worked hard to put together. So am I vain, you ask? Well, I think, it depends on your definitionof vanity: (From Websters.com)

1: feelings of excessive pride [syn: amour propre, conceit, self-love]
2: the quality of being valueless or futile; "he rejected the vanities of the world" [syn: emptiness]
3: the trait of being vain and conceited [syn: conceit]
4: low table with mirror or mirrors where one sits while dressing or applying makeup [syn: dressing table, dresser, toilet table]

I pick #1. That's my definition. I think it's an important trait to embody, and that it means one has good self-esteem and a high sense of self worth. Yes, maybe if others will admit their vanity, this world would be a much more honest, and much less catty, place for women to live. But until then...

Meow!

What we found in the rubble...

2005-09-20T18:18:00.000-04:00

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted." Matthew 5:4

We found this open devotion book in the rubble around Anthony's mom's home. It really speaks volumes. It's hard to comprehend that God is in control of something like this, but He is. What a reminder!

Anthony's Mom's Place

2005-09-20T18:05:00.000-04:00

Here's where it ended up...on 2nd street behind the house.
This is looking right at the house.
Here's one of the car's that her land lord owned.
Toilet...all that was left. Literally.

Katrina....that Witch

2005-09-20T17:44:00.000-04:00

Before and After pics of our house.

We were so lucky.

Gotta Lighten Up!

2005-09-19T11:43:00.000-04:00

I realized that I gotta lighten up the board a bit. It's too...devastation-oriented. Let's talk about something fun, like babies. I always get such a kick out of seeing people's faces when I tell then that we are going to try to have another baby soon. We really want Aiden to have a baby sister or brother close to his age. I am lucky to be very close to my sis even though we are 5 years apart in age. She is my best friend, regardless of the age difference. But I do feel the generation gap at times, which is why I want Aiden to have a sibling close in age. I really don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as there are pros to both. If I have a boy, that'd be really cool for Aiden because he'd have a little brother to boss around and be close with. If it's a girl, he'd have a little sis to look after. The other pro about a girl is we would stop there. NO MORE! We said we'd try three times, and if we got three boys then so be it. But if we got a boy and then a girl, we're done. If it's a boy, his name will be Noah Ryburn Flowers...after Anthony Ryburn Flowers. A girl will probably be Abigail Reese Flowers and call her Abby Reese. I love love love it, but sometimes it just doesn't feel right, so I'm not hanging the flag on it yet. I also like Mallory, Lillian and Ireland. Not sure about middle names on those, but probably either Amanda (after me) or Noelle (after my sis, Ashley Noelle). Now that a lot of my friends are pregnant or have just had babies (Jenn, Sunie, Amanda, Lindsey) I have definitely got the fever. I've started counting the months to see when "it" would be due. I've started calculating what Aiden would be doing when he or she arrives. Oh yeah, it's on. I do wish I had these last 20 pounds off. Maybe this month I'll do Adkins and lose it. I'll keep ya posted!!!

Total Devastation

2005-09-09T13:03:00.000-04:00

How can I begin to describe what I have seen this week? It is truly devestating. Anthony's mother lived at 822 1/2-A Beach Boulevard/Highway 90 in Gulfport. Wednesday we went to check out the area to see if there was anything left. There was just a slab and rubble. There were 2 trees in the yard left standing. It took my breath away. I felt like I was in a foreign country that had been hit by a bomb or a war zone after battle. After about an hour, it was like sensory overload. I became numb to the scene. The slabs where homes used to be started looking....well, normal. That's because it is the norm now, here. At the VA, we have over 300 employees without homes and many more with severe damage. It's difficult to understand how anyone would want to stay here on the coast. I have to admit, I have a plan in my head already to get out of here. I feel like a rat leaving a sinking ship, but I want to live somewhere that I don't have to worry about the safety of my family. Maybe I'm jaded. Maybe my mind will change. I'm not counting on it, but we'll see. We're heading to Jackson today to see our son. He can't come back yet because it's not safe for him. The water at our house looks like skim milk, so I will not be bringing Aiden back until that changes. We do have electricity and our phones, so we are blessed. I will soon post our pictures from the rubble and I will keep updating with stories we hear.

Oh yeah, I did cut my hair and I LOVE it. It's so much easier, and just in time. I need everything to be as easy as possible right now. God bless and keep us in your prayers.

GO HOME JIM!

2005-08-28T18:21:00.000-04:00

Well, I was hoping this hurricane was going to fizzle out in the Gulf, but when I woke up Saturday morning and Jim Cantori was in Biloxi, I knew there were bad things to come. Fortunately, we were already in Jackson this weekend for a visit, so we missed the evacuation rush. Me, Anthony and Aiden are all staying at my parents home in Pearl until we know it's safe to go back. They're saying it's the worst hurricane they've ever measured. Total devastation to New Orleans. Anthony is raving on and on about how no one is comprehending how bad this really is going to be. Well, he's right. I know I can't imagine New Orleans getting wiped off the map. I've been glued to my TV. I actually need to go right now because Jim is giving an update. Keep us in your prayers.

What I should be doing right now...

2005-08-24T21:24:00.000-04:00

You know, I've never been the suzy-homemaker type. I try and keep our home 'straight,' but I HATE scrubbing and cleaning. I do it when I have to. Well now that Aiden is crawling and pulling up, I feel like a total yucko. Never in my life did I think that I would wish for a smaller house, but I do! I wish I had less space to clean. Cleaning...that's what I should be doing right now instead of sharing this thought with you fine folks. Anyone else HATE cleaning?

FYI-got in a conversation with a co-worker today who scrubs her bathroom 3 TIMES A WEEK!!! I told her she is never peeing in my house. She'd die if she saw my toilet. I think I'll go scrub it now. How often do you clean your bathroom?

The Beginning

2005-08-24T16:50:00.000-04:00

Well, I've been wanting to start my own blog for some time now...but the time just never seems to be there. We'll just have to see how this goes. The title of my blog is, as you can see, More Than A Mommy. For starters, you should know that all my life I've had a few constants:
-God (The One True Constant!)
-Family (Extended, Combined, Mangled and Enmeshed)
-Friends (Yes, I'm one of the few who has been blessed to have a great, unchanging, group of friends)

When I got married, the family extended even further, I picked up more friends, and God stayed true to His post, as always. But now that I've had a child...WOW. Everything has changed. My constants are still there, but my sense of who I am has totally gone out the window. Well, not anymore. I've had an epiphany.
They say having a child changes everything. I'd have to agree with that, because it rings true in my life. For instance, I have diapers in every room of my house....along with baby wipes and burp clothes. It's become the hot, new decorative item for 2005 at my place. There are many other examples. I mean I could literally go on and on. How did this happen?

I used to go into houses where there were children and say, 'when I have a child...I refuse to let them take over the house with all their stuff.' Whoops! Shouldn't have said that. I also used to see mothers in frumpy 'Mommy pants'...you know the ones that are up to your boobs like Steve Urkel and that make your butt look like an upside down FLATT heart, and think 'no thank you, not for me.' Now I know that these women wear these pants because they fear that their tummy will fall out of any other pants- A fear I now share. Never in my wildest dreams did I think that this could happen to me, a girl who never went to Wal-Mart without make-up and who always knew the latest fashion trends. I went to Walgreens yesterday with no make-up and my hair WET! WHO AM I??? I have fallen off the wagon. I am no longer cool!!! I am losing my sense of self and morphing into someone that I don't recognize. Someone that I didn't think I'd ever become. I AM A Mommy. So, you might ask, is that so bad? No. I LOVE being a Mommy. But I HATE that:
-I have no clue what drawer my socks are in
-I have no clue how many push ups I can do before falling out
-I have no clue what my neighbor's last name is
-I have no clue what the number one song in American is this week
-I have no clue what the 'in' color is for this summer
-I have no clue (and this is the biggie) that my husband thinks I'm FRUMPY!

Well, here's what I've come up with. We Mommy's of the world must all realize that we are so much more than just our kid's Mom. I had that epiphany this week. I realized that while pouring attention and love onto my son, I was neglecting to do so to myself. Wow. It was a big deal, too. I actaully didn't realize how bad it had gotten until my husband, God love him, asked me why I never 'fixed up' for him anymore. Well, I truly didn't know he cared. I wear scrubs to work most days, and I usually change into lounge clothes when I get home so I can play with Aiden. That's sexy, right? Looking back now, I see that I was beyond clueless on that one.

After he said that I started looking at the rest of my life to see if there were other areas that needed any adjusting. Well, it was like opening Pandora's box. There were tons of things that I saw that needed attending. There's the normal hosuework, but above and beyond that...there was a definite spiritual need had to be addressed. I have not been active in a church in 2 years. No singing, no worship, no fellowship, no Sunday School...NOTHING. I am Southern Baptist and have been in church literally all of my life...Hello? That's a significant change. I also realized that I have been neglecting work at the office because I am often in 'baby land' thinkng of Aiden or talking about him. My work ethic needed tweaking. Physically, I have lots of issues with my body and my appearance. I have never been 'big.' Never more than a size 3 at my largest until pregnancy. I gained 70 pounds while pregnant! I am 4'11'' so that's a large amount of wieight for my little frame.Now I'm hanging on to a measly 25 pounds and it is kicking my confidence in the gut. I have no self esteem anymore. After throwing myself a pity party, I realized that I am still me. I am still Mandye and no matter what life changes have taken place, I am still the same soul. I also realized that I need to take care of myself so that Aiden will know that he should take care of himself.

Taking care of myself means mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally putting myself back together. That's hard to do when you've just had a baby. Sometimes you forget who you were, what you laughed at, what you cried over, what you like to do on a rany day, what you love to eat when you're down, your favorite saying, your favorite quote, and (most of all) your dreams. Remember this: Having Children doesn't take away our dreams; Instead, our children give us inspiration to see our dreams to fruition. This week, I sent off for applications to Ph.D. programs all over the South. Why? Because I am more that a mommy. Yes, I am more than Aiden Flowers' Mom. I am Mandye. And Mandye wants to get her Ph.D. before she's 35. I don't need to put it off because of my kids because one day, when they ask me why I didn't get my doctorate, I don't want them to feel it's their fault. I need Aiden, and my future kids, to realize that they can do anything they want and to never stop dreaming. So yes, I am More Than A Mommy. I am a soul, with it's own identity.

And I promise...all my posts won't be this deep. SOME, I promise, will be quite shallow. You'll see!!!